athameblade

Cozolino’s concept of the “good enough therapist” is important because it is necessary to provide an adequately caring and attentive atmosphere for clients to feel at home and trusting enough to make changes as a result of the therapist’s interventions. But, sometimes, the human flaws of the therapist may lend themselves to material with which to work in session based on how the clients react. The characteristics of a good enough therapist are: attuned, empathic, caring, available, respectful, humble, accepting of one’s own imperfection, flexible, non-defensive, patient, open to the client’s potential correctness, curious, non-pressuring, and focused on the clients’ needs. Cozolino makes the good point that highlighting being right and being accusatory is not preferable while moving the client toward psychological health is. Asking questions to understand what the client is feeling in moments when the client is feeling negative toward you is much better than pointing out how you are right and the client is wrong, since the latter could be unhelpful and even wounding. Also, I like his emphasis on taking responsibility for mistakes and admitting when one is wrong, since many clients’ parents could never do that, making them feel like the imperfect one. Being good enough as a therapist requires setting aside one’s ego and narcissism, unlike what some clients’ hurtful parents did. It is helpful to use one’s own mistakes as ways for the client to experience the cycle of rupture and repair and to continue in a more positive manner afterward, which may also improve attitudes toward authority figures. Realizing the helpfulness of such situations may help me to feel less guilty when I make mistakes, as long as I can manage to move through them gracefully. Accepting my human flaws while expecting clients to do so as well, if I appropriately apologize, and avoiding feeling like I need to be perfect are ways of self-forgiveness that will allow me to avoid becoming emotionally drained by intense sessions.

I'm done with all master's degree work, aside from proofreading!