athameblade

From this book on fasting.
I'm taking off this week's day of fasting and waiting til next week to do a 2-day one instead. I think just 1 day only uses up glycogen stores. If this pattern doesn't work out, I'll go the 3-day every month route. Fasting is so easy for me now, as hunger is barely noticeable. I had to give up the omega-3 fatty acids that I had been using for energy support during fasts, since they somehow make me sick every time, so I'm using small amounts of B5 (the anti-stress B vitamin) and citrus aurantium (which contains a mild stimulant called synephrine that viritually does not affect the central nervous system but still increases energy).

I expect to look 20 years younger than my real age and have fewer health problems, aches, and pains, etc. than my peers once I get older, as long as I make this a lifelong habit. Diets are no good, but fasting is the only thing that works for multiple purposes.

How to Eliminate America's Addiction to Oil

By 2016, half of new cars sold here could be hydrogen powered? That'd be nice. The government and NASA are already using hydrogen power... I hope widespread use is more than just a pipe dream.

I've developed a good new habit - fasting one day per week for exactly 24 hours. I started experimenting last month with a 5-day water/herbal tea fast and toyed with doing this monthly but ultimately decided to do a shorter fast more regularly. I like creating frequent habits rather than disparate ones, and a one-day fast is also less extreme. This past week was week number 3 of my new fasting regimen, and it's not that difficult. I read somewhere that, every time you eat, your set point goes up and, in between meals, it drops down. It seems that weekly fasting is lowering my set point (or "settling point," the more updated term that reflects changeability depending on various factors). I'm eating completely normally on days in between and still slightly losing weight or maintaining the 5-lb loss of my first fast. Chocolate, bread, protein, fat, whatever I want. It's bizarre, and I don't fully understand but am certainly appreciating this effect. Maybe I'm actually eating less overall and can't tell because my brain is satisfied more quickly.

I noticed that, toward the end of my longer fast, I developed a dull but significantly painful headache at the back of my head along with fatigue. I wondered if this symptom had anything to do with blood sugar but realized it was simply a sign of my nervous system running out of power after having used up all adrenaline. My system was moving into shutdown mode and telling me so. I was fine for the first 3 days, and I think the reason was I had been taking omega-3 fatty acids from fish oil (EPA, but not DHA, which is too stimulating), and this EPA keeps my nervous system up and running with energy to spare. Since the system uses body fat at a lower rate but needs a faster-burning source of energy for immediate, day-to-day energy, this had to be my solution and it does work. I wasn't willing to do a juice fast because part of the point of my fasting is to give my body a break from sugar and the associated rise in insulin, which is a major aging hormone.

I'm taking an online course on fasting through a site called Universal Class just for fun, since my school term ended this past week. If only all classes were this simply laid out and clear-cut. One-paragraph essays and multiple choice tests are fine by me. Anyway, I don't remember material unless I'm either 1) genuinely interested in it for my own practical use or 2) learning by doing something hands-on. I could write paper upon paper or study for ridiculously in-depth tests (and do well on them) and not remember anything at all in the long-term unless it satisfies at least 1 of the above criteria.

Robert, the wise group supervisor, provided some incredible insight once again on Friday. He has a way of putting psychological concepts that I have an instinctive sense of into words for me for the first time. I'm not the only one in our small group to have this experience. I made some notes which I will share here.

The topic this time was grieving the loss associated with childhood neglect or other unsatisfied basic emotional growth needs. Although it's not the loss of a person or opportunity of one's choosing per se, it's a loss in that the needs were never met when they were important. If your parents did not raise you in a way that fulfilled either needs for closeness, validation, and connection or those of individuation, separation, and differentiation, that's not your fault. But it's necessary to acknowledge and recognize that you should have gotten these, ideally. Grieving such a loss is a task that requires conscious attention so that the lost needs are not projected onto romantic partners. Usually, such projections cause problems in the relationship (or even in the early dating process before starting one).

One must recognize that one will never get that lost fulfillment back, which is inevitably tough. To deal with the loss, it must be felt by stopping one's self from projecting it onto people and simply sitting with it in pain. After that point, one begins nurturing one's self. This too brings up painful feelings through being reminded that one never had the need met by parents. The sorrow at this point is a feeling that is useful, as opposed to depression, which is an absence of clarity in feeling and a heavy sense of void. After a while, the pain will lessen and self-nurturance becomes a habit. This is the task of growing into an adult - learning to be a good parent to one's self.

"Feelings only want a voice and understanding. They don't exist merely to torture us."

One of my fellow group members and I both were thinking the same thing, but she said it first: Some people project these needs onto a parental "God" and delay the development of self-nurturance. This is why I choose not to personify any supreme deity but, rather, to align myself with the notion of a general mysterious life force (the Chinese call it qi) that animates living things and orders energies - both creative and destructive. It's the same type of energy each of us carries inside that heals us when we're sick, if only we give our bodies the chance to fully do its work by fasting. (A separate post on my adventures with this practice coming after this post.)

My presentation of the Asperger and culture paper went well, I think. I insisted on going first. After class, one of my classmates made a point of telling me she found my report very interesting.

It was a potluck class, since everyone brought foods originating from the culture of the person whom they interviewed for an assignment. (I brought Russian ginger bread and chocolates to represent Irina's Ukrainian origin.) This one girl who mentioned to me that she was vegan before class walked over to the food table and wondered aloud what was in the hummus. So I said "lard." I think she ignored me or just didn't pay any attention. Then, she asked someone nearby, "Does it have butter or anything like that in it?"

So I felt the need to say: "No....just lard." She wasn't amused, but I sure as hell was! This is what happens when I get PMS: I become mildly sadistic. (First of all, butter is never put in hummus. I won't even go into the idiocy of veganism.)

Somebody presented on pedophiles, and this one Catholic girl in class commented that perhaps pedophiles develop when they - as children - are exposed to sexual influences early, such as R-rated movies. I decided that would be a good time to up and leave for the restroom...before I started sighing loudly or worse - insulting her openly and aggressively. Aargh!

The Eight Asperger Advantages (from coachingasperger.com)

There are aspects of Asperger Syndrome that you can use to your great advantage.

1. Focus

Your ability to focus on one objective over long periods of time without becoming distracted allows you to accomplish large and challenging tasks.

2. Unique Global Insights

Your ability to find novel connections among multi-disciplinary facts and ideas allows you to create new, coherent, and meaningful insight that others would not have reached without you.

3. Independent Thinking

Your willingness to consider unpopular or unusual possibilities generates new options and opportunities and can pave the way for others.

4. Internal Motivation

Rather than being swayed by social convention, other's opinions, social pressure or fears, you can hold firm to your own purpose. Your unique ideas can thrive, despite naysayers.

5. Attention To Detail

Your ability to remember and process minute details without getting lost or overwhelmed gives you a distinct advantage when solving complex problems.

6. 3-Dimensional Thinking

Your ability to utilize 3-dimensional visioning gives you a unique perspective when designing and creating solutions.

7. Cutting Through The Smoke Screen

Your ability to recognize and speak the truth that is being "conveniently" ignored by others can be vital to the success of a project or endeavor.

8. Logical Decision Making

Your ability to make logical and rational decisions and stick to your course of action without being swayed by impulse or emotional reactions allows you to navigate successfully through difficult situations without being pulled off-course.

These traits can be used to develop invaluable leadership and entrepreneurial skills.

I used this list as a handout for my paper presentation. It complements the DSM diagnostic criteria quite well and, to reflect how Asperger is a two-sided coin (and save myself paper), I printed these on the same sheet as a double-sided handout.

I confessed to my supervisor that I didn't initially think we were a good fit (since I'm so cognitive and content-focused) but that I've since revised my view. I now think she may offer a good counterbalancing influence that teaches me to pay more attention to people's emotional patterns toward me while in session.

For example, one of my clients pointed out the badge I always wear at work, saying it must suck that I have to wear it all the time. I just told him I didn't even notice it, and it didn't bother me. My supervisor said this statement may reflect something going on deeper inside him. I didn't want to read that far into it, but eh. Maybe he wants to know more about me but doesn't know what questions to ask. Or maybe he was trying to distract from himself. Who knows. I let it go, but I'm sure there are more major examples of interactions that are possibly telling.

My supervisor thanked me for my confession. I was thinking of keeping it to myself, but it's probably a better habit to open up.

Based on my results from this quiz: http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

Interesting that the only traits I dip into the neurotypical side on are social and communication, which are normally major defining deficits for Asperger. That's probably why people can rarely tell when I'm in social situations. Of course, I've worked hard to learn specific social skills and to eliminate certain habits when around people over time.

My boyfriend sent me the link to this article about sensory integration dysfunction possibly being considered its own disorder one day, filed under the name sensory processing disorder (SPD):

The Next Attention Deficit Disorder?

This could apply to those who don't fully qualify as Asperger but have the same sensory troubles.